Human Intimacy

Although this can be an uncomfortable topic for many people, it is an issue that we all face. This page is written with the view that the nature of sexual activity is mainly for reproductive purposes as well as the expression of love for another. This page will address all forms of human sexuality spoken of in the Bible, and will be categorized in alphabetical order: Adultery, Beastiality, Birth Control, Celibacy, Cohabitation, Fornication, Homosexuality, Incest, Marriage, Masturbation, Monogamy, Polygamy, and Miscellaneous.

ADULTERY:
Scripture states that adultery is forbidden (Exodus 20:14, Deuteronomy 5:18). In the Law Covenant, given to the Israelites, adultery was punishable by death (Leviticus 20:10). Even before the Law Covenant was given, a man named Joseph inherently knew that adultery was a terrible sin (Genesis 39:7-9). Although Jesus was the end of this Law Covenant (Romans 10:4), adultery remained a major sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Hebrews 13:4). Divorced people commit adultery when they remarry if they have divorced for reasons other than infidelity (Matthew 5:31-32, Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, Romans 7:1-3). Clinging to daydreams of adulterous liaisons, even if you do not act on them, is a form of adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). The bible warns of the possible consequences from the other spouse in cases of infidelity (Proverbs 6:32-35). Kings and rulers were threatened with punishment from God for taking the wives of other men (Genesis 12:10-20, Genesis 20:1-7, Genesis 26:7-11, 2 Samuel 12:7-12). Adultery is a form of fornication (Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9), and fornication is covetous sexual appetite (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). Covetousness is greed, which is idolatry (Ephesians 5:5). The sins of adultery and idolatry are very closely related (Psalms 50:18, Jeremiah 3:9, Jeremiah 7:8-9, Ezekiel 23:36-37, Romans 2:22, Revelation 2:20-23). The marriage bed must be kept clean, for God will judge philanderers (Hebrews 13:4).
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BEASTIALITY:
Beastiality is sexual activity with an animal. This is something completely against nature, and sexual behaviour outside of what is natural is abhorrent to God (Leviticus 18:23, Romans 1:25-27, Jude 7). In the Jewish Law, both the person and the animal were to be put to death in cases of beastiality (Exodus 22:19, Leviticus 20:15-16).

BIRTH CONTROL:
Yahweh commanded humankind to fill the Earth (Genesis 1:27-28, Genesis 9:1). Scripture shows the bearing of children is a blessing from God (Genesis 30:23, Exodus 1:21, Psalms 113:9,Psalms 128:3). The decree for humankind to fill the Earth is an obligation on the human race as a whole, but not necessarily an obligation on each and every individual. This is supported in the fact that choosing to remain single is not a sin (1 Corinthians 7:8, 26-27). (Remaining single would mean not having children, because a single person bearing children would be committing fornication, a major sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

There is nothing in the bible that speaks against the general use of birth control methods. The only law against birth control was in the case of "Brother-In-Law Marriage", in which a widowed woman was to have a child with her brother-in-law in order to provide an heir to carry on the deceased man's inheritance (Genesis 38:9-10). That said, now it would be good to look at the various methods of birth control we use, for some really are indeed unscriptural due to their abortifacient properties (abortifacient = aborting or terminating a pregnancy).
For starters, any method which is designed to terminate a pregnancy in progress is unscriptural. This is because it is made clear that all life belongs to God (Psalms 24:1, Psalms 115:1, Ezekiel 18:4, 1 Corinthians 10:26), and God pays attention to the unborns (Exodus 21:22-23, Psalms 139:13-16). Terminating an unborn is in effect stealing something from God. Many like to believe that the embryos are not living, however, by the time a woman knows she's pregnant the embryo already has a heartbeat, a brain, a nervous system, is growing and maturing. Non-living things do not have these traits. The embryo is alive and belongs to God. To deliberately terminate a life that belongs to God is murder, a condemnable sin (Exodus 20:13, Isaiah 1:15, Ezekiel 16:38, Romans 1:29-32). Therefore, birth control methods that are designed to be abortifacient should be avoided if you want to keep a clean standing before God (Romans 13:8-10). We suggest you talk to your health care provider to learn how your family-planning method works.

CELIBACY:
Celibacy is the act of choosing to refrain from sexual activities for periods of time. What does the bible say about such matters? For married couples, abstinence between them must only be done by mutual agreement, and only for brief periods of time so as to not tempt either mate into committing adultery (1 Corinthians 7:5). Marriage is not designed for long term celibacy for the two are expected to become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24, Deuteronomy 21:13, Ruth 4:13, 2 Samuel 12:24, Ephesians 5:31). Becoming "one flesh" means having sexual contact (1 Corinthians 6:16). A spouse is not entitled to withhold intimacy from the other spouse (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Of course, if one spouse is severely ill or injured you wouldn't expect them to perform, as that would be showing a lack of love, and one is supposed to love and respect one's spouse (Ephesians 5:33). Celibacy for singles, however, is a must. This is because having a sexual relationship outside of marriage is fornication, which is a sin major enough to keep you out of the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-6). Demanding singleness from congregational leaders and clergy is an unscriptural restriction that causes unnecessary temptations (1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Timothy 3:2). However, there is nothing in the bible against single people choosing celibacy of there own free will (1 Corinthians 7:8). In other words, there is no sin in choosing not to marry.

COHABITATION/COMMON LAW MARRIAGE:
Cohabitation is sharing a home with someone with which you are sexually active, though not legally married. This living arrangement is unscriptural because sex without marriage is fornication, a heinous sin that God destests (1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-6). In some places, "Common Law" marriage is permitted. Common Law marriage is when a couple never officially marries, they simply live together. After a certain amount of time the law will recognize them as legally married. What's wrong is that the couple are living together in an unmarried state to begin with, making it fornication until they are recognized as married. This is a dishonourable practice, and the bible states that marriage is to be honourable among all (Hebrews 13:4).

FORNICATION:
Fornication is sexual activity with someone you are not married to. According to scripture this is a sin terrible enough to keep us out of God's Kingdom (1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-6) Adultery is a form of fornication (Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9). Fornication is closely tied to idolatry, which is also a major sin (Acts 15:20,29, Acts 21:25, Galatians 5:5). Fornication is covetous sexual appetite (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5) and covetousness is greed, which is idolatry (Ephesians 5:5), therefore there is a strong connection between fornication and idolatry. God will judge fornicators (Hebrews 13:4).The body is not made for fornication (1 Corinthians 6:13). Fornication is a sin against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is better to marry than to continue committing fornication (1 Corinthians 7:1-9).

HOMOSEXUALITY:
Under the Law Covenant, homosexual behavior was worthy of a death sentence (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13). Even though the Law Covenant was abolished by Christ's sacrifice (Romans 10:4), homosexual behaviour remained condemned in scripture (1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-11). Homosexual behaviour is unnatural (Romans 1:26-27, Jude 7).

Some feel that it is natural for them to be attracted to the same gender and therefore it shouldn't be wrong. We disagree. Feeling natural about something doesn't automatically make that "something" acceptable to God. For example, it is not acceptable in God's eyes for a man to have sex with all the women he wants simply because it's the man's natural desire to want them. It is not acceptable in God's eyes for a person to murder in a fit of rage because it is natural to get overly angry at times. It is not acceptable for a person to drink to excess simply because it's a natural craving for the person.
If we have an unnatural desire to do that which is against what God intends, that is the time to pray to overcome these imperfections. Each of us has issues we are born with, and each person has a different issue to contend with. We realize this can be extremely difficult, and we're not saying it will always be easy to overcome, however with much prayer and supplication to God, it can be managed.

INCEST:
This is sexual activity between close blood relatives. According to scripture, it is a violation of what is natural for a man to be with his father's wife or for a man to be with his daughter-in-law (Leviticus 20:11-12,15). Now, the idea of a man not taking his father's wife covers both biological mothers and stepmothers (Leviticus 18:7-8, Deuteronomy 22:30, Deuteronomy 27:20). Siblings are not allowed be intimate together either, whether full blooded or half siblings (Leviticus 18:9,11, Leviticus 20:17, Deuteronomy 27:22). Grandparents are not to be "together" with their grandchildren (Leviticus 18:10). You are not to be with your aunt or uncle (Leviticus 18:12-14, Leviticus 20:19-20). You are not to be with your siblings-in-law (Leviticus 18:16, Leviticus 20:21, Mark 6:18). You are not to take both a woman and her daughter or grandchild for it is loose conduct (Leviticus 18:17, Leviticus 20:14). A man is not to be with his mother-in-law (Deuteronomy 27:23). You are not to take a woman and her sister while both are still alive (Leviticus 18:18). Now, although these were part of the Law Covenant, which was nullified by Christ's death (Romans 10:4), these things were still considered as loose conduct and unclean (Leviticus 18:17,24-30, Leviticus 20:14) and that unnatural use of flesh is wrong (Jude 7). After Christ's death, we were told to avoid unclean, loose conduct if we want to inherit God's kingdom (Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Corinthians 5:1). Therefore, we believe these things are still wrong even though the Law Covenant is no longer in effect.

Now, as we've seen, the Law said not to take a sibling. But a lot of you will notice that Abraham was married to his half sister, Sarai/Sarah (Genesis 20:12). Also, a lot of people notice that when Cain was banished he took a wife with him (Genesis 4:17). Since he didn't take Eve, he must have taken a sister, since Adam and Eve had both sons and daughters (Genesis 5:4). Many are confused by this apparent discrepency. However, taking a look at these situations we see three things:
1) Cain and Abraham's situations happened long before the Law Covenant was given to people. A person is not in violation of a law if the law hadn't been written yet.
2) In the beginning it is apparent that God allowed these kinds of relationships, otherwise the earth couldn't be populated.
3) When the Law Covenant was given, there was enough population to go around that it was no longer necessary for a person to marry a close relative.

Other people have noticed that the bible doesn't mention anything forbidding the marrying of cousins. And this is true, it is not in the scriptures. In fact, the scriptures actually indicate that cousins married each other frequently, and with God's blessing (Genesis 24:4,15,67, Genesis 28:1-3, Ruth 2:1,20, 3:12, 4:13). Please note that we certainly don't recommend that people must marry their cousins, we are simply pointing out that marrying a cousin is not a biblical sin, in spite of our feelings on the matter.

MARRIAGE:
God made marriage to be an arrangement between a man and a woman for two purposes: The first is because women were created to be the other half of a man, a matched pair, two halves of a whole that belong together (Genesis 2:18-24). The other purpose is for bringing forth children, and though this is obvious by nature, it is shown at Genesis 1:26-28, Genesis 4:1,17,25, Deuteronomy 7:13. It is not a sin to marry (1 Corinthians 7:36-38), which is supported in the fact that God officiated the very first marriage (Genesis 2:18-25). Marriage is meant to be a lifelong committment (Romans 7:2, 1 Corinthians 7:39 ), and separation is supposed to be with a view to reconciliation with one's spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

MASTURBATION:
God designed sex to be a shared experience between a married couple (Proverbs 5:15-19), which is self-evident in the build of human anatomy. If a spouse is practicing self-gratification, he or she is selfishly withholding that pleasure from the spouse. Selfishness is a form of greed or covetousness, and covetousness is equated with idolatry (Ephesians 5:3-5). Also, the bible tells us to avoid unnecessary/covetous sexual appetite (Colossians 3:5, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). As for single people, some people reason that self gratification keeps them from committing fornication. Although we completely understand the reasoning, there is one giant flaw: In order for an unmarried person to masturbate to orgasm, they must imagine a sexually satisfying situation. Since the person is unmarried, this means he or she would be fantasizing fornication. This would mean cultivating an unnecessary sexual appetite, which the bible condemns (Ephesians 5:3-5, Colossians 3:5). Fornication is a major sin (Galatians 5:19-21), and we are to avoid wicked thoughts when we can (Proverbs 2:22, 1 Thessalonians 5:22).

Another point on the matter is this: A man performing the act is fondling male genitalia, and a woman performing the act is fondling female genitalia. To fondle genitalia of your same gender for sexual pleasure is the very definition of homosexual behaviour. It doesn't matter what's going on in your head, the physical act of masturbation is completely homosexual. And as we've seen earlier on this page, homosexuality is a grave sin.

POLYGAMY:
Polygamy is a very complicated issue, and takes some lengthy discussion. Polygamy is the state of being married to more than one person simultaneously. The word cell "poly-" means multiple or many. There are two forms of polygamy: Polyandry, which is when a woman has more than one husband (think of the similarities between the words polyandry and husbandry) and Polygyny, which is when a man has more than one wife (think of the similarities between the words polygyny and other female "-gyn" words such as gynecology ). In the bible, the prevalent form of polygamy was polygyny.

Men of congregational stature were to have only one wife (Deuteronomy 17:17, 1 Timothy 3:2, 12, Titus 1:6). The bible strongly shows that a man is to have one wife and a woman is to have one husband (1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Timothy 5:9). The only times polygamy occurred in the bible was when the humans chose to take extra wives (Genesis 4:19, Genesis 29:18-29, 1 Samuel 1:2, 2 Chronicles 24:3), it was never due to God advising this style of marriage. However, out of His great wisdom and love, He made sure to create laws to protect the additional wives and their children (Exodus 21:7-10, Leviticus 18:18, Deuteronomy 21:15-17). It is also worth noting the problems that came up due to the surplus wives being jealous of one another (Genesis 16:1-6, Exodus 29:30-30:15, 1 Samuel 1:1-8) We must realize that rival situations will emerge in polygyny because women were given a strong need for their husbands (Genesis 3:16), making it unnatural for a woman to share a husband. Scripture makes it clear that God does not approve of unnatural situations (Leviticus 18:23, Leviticus 20:12, Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9, Jude 7). As for polyandry, this too is against what God intended, because He made the man to be the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:23), and a woman can have only one headship. Otherwise there will be problems as to whom she should be obedient to if the husbands have differences in their headship. Therefore, multiple marriage is an institution that works against God's will. A man who truly loves his wife will not put her in that position, for a man is supposed to be good to his wife and treat her well (Ephesians 5:25,28-33, Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:7). A godly woman would likewise be monogamous, for she is to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33), which would include not pitting his headship against another man's headship. The original plan from God only made room for monogamous marriages (Deuteronomy 17:17, 1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Timothy 3:2,12, 1 Timothy 5:9, Titus 1:6).

Yahweh made only one woman for Adam to be his other half, and the two of them together were considered as a complete whole (Genesis 2:18-24). This concept is reinforced in that it takes only one man and one woman to produce children. Extra mates are unnecessary. Note that God didn't create more than one wife for Adam. Note, also, that whenever Christ spoke of marriage, he always spoke of it in monogamous terms, not polygamous: Matthew 5:31-32, 18:25, 19:5, 9, 29, Luke 14:26.

So now the question is: If Yahweh does not approve of polygamy, then why did He allow men in the bible to practice it? This is because we are in the midst of a major issue: Who has the right to universal sovereignty. What does this have to do with polygamy? It has to do with letting humanity prove whether we can successfully live under our own rules without God's interference. Because this is detailed elsewhere on this site, please go to the page entitled "Bible Topics" at the first subheading to understand how this connects.

Because of this issue, this means God stays out of our "business". Why? Because, if God were to interfere with our business, the issue wouldn't be proven that we could do it ourselves. By necessity He lets us go with our faulty wisdom in order to see whether we actually have what it takes. Thus, if some cultures decide to practice polygamy, God allows it in order to show whether that piece of human "wisdom" is workable. Keep in mind that allowing it is not the same as approving of it. . The bible shows examples of God allowing a situation even though He didn't actually approve of it. The Moses Divorce Certificate is one example (Mark 10:4 in reference to Deuteronomy 24:1-4). On two separate occasions God allowed Abram's lies to cause a king to take Abram's wife, even though God clearly didn't approve of the situations (Genesis 12:14-17, 20:1-6). God even allowed David to make the mistake of taking another man's wife and killing the man, although He didn't approve of the actions (2 Samuel 11). Therefore, the argument that allowing something signifies approval is a weak argument indeed.

MISCELLANEOUS:
Anal Sex: This is the act of using the anus and rectum for sexual pleasure. Though there is no scripture directly saying this is wrong, it is obviously not the intended purpose of that part of our bodies. Many diseases can be easily spread this way: AIDS, Hepatitis, Intestinal flu, and worm parasites among other things. Also, this would spread fecal matter onto other body parts, and all of this is unclean (Romans 1:24, Ephesians 4:19, Colossians 3:5). Also, it is not natural to have sex in this manner since anal sex does not lead to procreation. The unnatural use of flesh is condemned in the bible (Jude 7). Just because something can be done doesn't mean that it should be done.
Multiple Partner/ Orgies: Some people believe that having threesomes or orgies are acceptable if all of the participants are willing. However, this would be against many scriptures: First, this would require having sex with at least one person you are not married to, making it fornication, a major sin (Galatians 5:19-2). If one of you is married, then having sex with one you are not married to is adultery, also a major sin (Matthew 5:27-28, 1 Corinthians 6:9-1). (Even if the other spouse is agreeable, adultery is still adultery, the bible makes no concessions). An orgy would also include some form of homosexual behaviour, which is also a major sin (Romans 1:26-27).